So if you thought Wrecking Ball was a bit much, wait till you get a load of this...

Actually, don't worry. Or your hopes up. Miley's alleged gift to the world for surpassing her previous YouTube views record is a 'Director's Cut' that doesn't have more saucy bits. Instead, it doesn't have any.

That's right, you'll just have to make do with the other one for hammer-licking. This is just her emoting to camera in full close-up, just like Sinead O'Connor in Nothing Compared 2 U, and all that. And the only respite is an appearance from Terry Richardson himself, the clever self-publicist that he is...